My 2015 resolution was to “give fewer f*cks”. I have to say – I did a damn good job with that this year. Writing that piece was helpful for me, because it stuck in my mind for the rest of the year. I reminded myself many times, “REMEMBER, self?? YOU SAID fewer f*cks! YOU SAID!” And you can’t just willfully break public resolutions like that, you know?
Anyway, I want to do something similar this year, to write about my resolution, to have a physical reminder lingering on the place where nothing is ever truly deleted – the great Internet. The problem is, I can’t come up with what I want my resolution to be.
I’m having a baby this year, and my initial thought when confronting the coming years goals is that my resolution should just be “survive”, because in my opinion that in and of itself is a massive accomplishment for year #1 with a baby.
What my resolution will NOT be:
- Lose the baby weight
- Lose any kind of weight
- Enjoy every moment
- Embrace every moment
- Any kind of anything that is required of every moment
I think I would like to get offended less. I am on that road already, starting to grow weary of some of the sites I follow that make their content based on complaining about anything and everything. I think I would like to be easier on myself this year, this pregnancy, this birth. I would like to change my thinking patterns on things like body image and approval from authority and always looking outside of myself for validation.
I would like to enjoy delicious meals this year. I would like to plant at least one new flower at our new home. I would like to take more naps. To continue reading voraciously. To be more unapologetic about taking care of myself.
I want to buy at least one new outfit that I feel ridiculously confident and gorgeous in. I want to get at least one massage. I want to go to a movie, in the theater. I want to spend a hell of a lot less time worrying and a lot more time trusting that things will work out.
I want to write. I want to walk more. I want to compliment people more. I want to sit in the backyard when the sun is starting to set in the summer holding my new baby and watching my daughter play and talking to my husband and sipping a cocktail. I want to not punish myself for letting my daughter watch more TV if that’s whats going to keep me sane.
I want to meditate a little more than last year. I want to ease back into a slightly more regular yoga practice. I want to say no more. I want to say yes more. No to the things that I know will not bring me any joy or be good for me or grow me in some way. I want to say yes more to things outside my comfort zone. But I also love my comfort zone and I want to spend some time there too.
I want to take selfies. I want to notice beautiful things. I want fresh flowers in my house at least twice this coming year. I want to finally print canvases of some of my favorite pictures and hang them in our home.
I want to choose to think differently than I have in the past. I want to spend more time without makeup and without feeling less than. I want to give up on my reliance of numbers and opinions of others to determine my happiness and worth. Less caring about BMI and income and blog views and the number on the scale and the size of my pants.
I want to bake something new. I want to take a fashion risk. I want my house to smell beautiful all year. I want more peace in my mind, more stillness in my heart, and more trust in myself.
- Let’s do this.