I’m writing to inform you of a very tragic event (please read heavy sarcasm here) that occurred on my 26th birthday, in order to hopefully prevent something of this magnitude to ever happening to you. Because IT’S THE HOLIDAYS and I love you guys. I’m looking out for you.
Let me set the scene: as I was about to turn 26, Will and I had been dating for almost three years. We were living together, in love, and damn happy. It was no secret that we knew we would be marrying each other, a simple fact nobody really doubted and everyone pretty much expected. It was a question we fielded daily at that point, ‘when are you two going to get married already??’
Will and I had gone ring shopping under the guise of “just looking”, an innocent walk around jewelry stores where we would casually pause near the engagement rings and someone would ask if I wanted to look at anything and I would act surprised and stutter something about “oh we are just looking” but not put up any fight whatsoever when pushed just a tiny bit further. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe that one?” I would point at some ring like I had never seen it before when in fact my laser diamond spotting eyes had quickly determined in about 15 seconds flat the five rings, in descending order, that I would like to try on RIGHT NOW PLEASE while Will started sweating profusely because I just oh-so-casually picked the ones that would require the pawning of his kidneys to pay for.
Anyway, being a very opinionated, picky, slightly controlling, take-charge-and-leave-nothing-to-chance kind of girl, I had done a little looking without him. So sue, me I love diamonds. And I had found several possibilities, all at the same jewelry store. I made sure my mom knew what they were and made sure Will knew that my mom knew in a very classy, subtle kind of way. Ha.
Will suggested that we take a trip to our favorite getaway location for my birthday. And this was the first sign that I knew, without a doubt, that he was going to propose.
Sign #2: he made several trips to somewhere secret for my birthday gift. He said he couldn’t tell me where he was going because it would give away the gift.
Sign #3: he told me I was going to ABSOLUTELY LOVE my gift. Will is terrible at keeping secrets. It was obvious he was really excited about this gift. He NEVER said things with such confidence when it came to gifts. This one was going to be a “homerun” though.
Sign #4: he said he really hoped I liked it, because it was A LOT of money.
I MEAN, what else could it be other than an engagement ring??
Of course, I pretended I had no idea what it would be. I acted confused and unsure and genuinely stumped by these “signs”. But in my mind I was already deciding how we would tell everyone that we got engaged. “Oh my God, mom, he TOTALLY SURPRISED ME!! I had NO IDEA!!” When I left work that weekend, I was feeling so cocky I ALMOST EVEN SAID, “see you Monday. I’m pretty sure I’ll be back with a ring on this finger!” Instead, when everyone asked me if I thought I was getting engaged on my birthday, I assured them that wasn’t happening. My friends cruelly taunted me with predictions that I was DEFINITELY getting engaged that weekend. I deflected all of these suggestions, because everybody knows YOU HAVE TO BE SURPRISED or it doesn’t count.
The morning of my birthday finally arrived. I picked out my best “engagement” outfit. I packed my “engagement” suitcase. And then Will burst into the room with excitement, begging me to open my presents NOW. Hmm. This was not in my plan. I was sure the engagement was happening in the beauty of our getaway location. Probably at night. “Don’t you want to wait until we get there?” I asked nervously. “No!” he exclaimed excitedly. “I want you to open them now!!”
I reluctantly agreed. He presented me two wrapped presents. I can’t remember exactly what they both contained. I knew what they didn’t contain, and it was an engagement ring. I remember one box contained a gorgeous black silk spa robe he had ordered from my favorite spa – a present so thoughtful and gorgeous and requiring him to be paying attention to me and how much I raved about the robes when I would get massages. It was perfect. But engagement ring it was not.
And that’s when he said it. “One more present.” My heart started pounding so hard I could literally hear it in my ears. I could practically feel the tears on their way out, I had imagined this moment so long. And he pulled a tiny black box from behind his back. I was shaking, breathless as he handed it to me to open. I held that shiny black box in my clammy hands and held my breath as I cracked it open to reveal ….
A gorgeous pair of diamond solitaire earrings.
Ok, you guys.
Lets just take a minute and try your best to reserve your judgment of my reaction. I know what it should have been. Under literally ANY other circumstances I probably would have cried tears of joy for such a stunning and extravagant complete surprise.
Well, I did cry.
I tried so so so so so hard to hold those tears in. I looked at my sweet, thoughtful boyfriend, his eyes wide with anticipation of my excitement, his face positively beaming with pride that he pulled off such a great birthday gift. I looked at his face and immediately began willing my tears and disappointment to GO AWAY RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW because I couldn’t bear to hurt his feelings.
Instead, my chin quivered, and I said in a croaky, clearly struggling voice “oh my gosh. Thank you.”
Cue Will’s face instantly falling.
Cue tears streaming down my face.
Cue uncomfortable conversation about what I thought was in the little black box.
Cue super awkward drive to getaway destination.
Where Will took this stunning picture of me, that pretty much summarizes my mood the rest of the trip.
You guys know how it turns out. You know there was an amazing proposal almost exactly 7 months later. One that really did completely surprise me. One where there was no “engagement outfit” or special getaway but where everything was absolutely PERFECT. You know that I forgave Will for giving me diamond earrings. FORGAVE HIM FOR GIVING ME DIAMOND EARRINGS. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE. You know he forgave me for an incredibly terrible reaction. And then boom there was a wedding and a baby and living happily ever after.
BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD – if you believe there is a chance your significant other is expecting a diamond ring for Christmas this year – DO NOT BUY THEM DIAMOND ANYTHING ELSE. Save yourself the money and THIS FACE this Christmas.