Will and I finally had a date night last weekend that didn’t consist of cleaning our basement, going through our file cabinets, enjoying a lavish Burger King dinner as quickly as we could before making a mad dash to Target in order to be home in time to do Gia’s bedtime routine. Yes, that was an actual date night we had recently.
We looked at each other in the car on the ride home from our REAL date and sighed, talking about how nice it was to finally be alone. How nice it is to have a moment to breathe. To really taste food. To look into my husband’s eyes and really look. After dinner we did a little shopping, just the two of us, not for diapers and not for parts to fix our sink. I remembered the days pre-parenthood where we would actually get bored and try and think of ways to fill our time. Sometimes we just wandered stores together holding hands, laughing, and talking. I actually got a little sad as we drove home, like I was about to say goodbye to Will for another week until we could be *really* together again.
But here is the funny thing about being a parent. The second we walked through the door into our living room and saw Gia’s little face light up as she turned her head away from Grandma and toys and saw us, I felt a lump of emotion in my throat and the sensation of my heart swelling so full it felt like it may explode with joy. The feeling of this intense love for your child just sneaks right up on you.
In a heartbeat I forget the emotionally and physically exhausting times. I forget the days my brain hurts from stretching to think of new creative ways to entertain her, and the days my brain hurts from the at times numbing monotony of being home with your child 24/7. I forget the tantrums and dirty diapers and the hurry hurry pressure to get as much as you can done before she wakes up. It is replaced instead with the relief of seeing my baby who all of a sudden I realize I missed terribly in the span of three hours away.
I looked at Will to see if he was feeling what I was feeling. He looked at me, his eyes shining, and said, “I really missed her.”