Have you seen the clip of Jennifer Garner on ‘Ellen’ where she talks about her “baby bump?”
If you don’t have the time or will to view it, let me just sum it up for you. Tabloids report that she is pregnant, presenting photos of her “baby bump” as evidence. Jennifer says: nope, not pregnant. But yes, there is a baby bump – she has had three babies. And even though those babies are born, that bump is not going anywhere.
First of all, Hallelujah from the choir! In this interview, Jennifer did not make a joke about being “fat”, which she clearly is not. She did not apologize and say she was “working on” getting rid of her “baby bump.” This deserves [and will likely receive] an entirely separate post devoted to it.
Secondly: seriously, people??
Apparently, and I say this from personal experience as well, upon being female and reaching childbearing age, everyone has the right to speculate about the contents of your uterus. Are you pregnant?? How pregnant are you?? Your not pregnant?? Why not?? When are you going to get pregnant??
Never in my life had strangers or acquaintances felt it was acceptable to point out observations about my body – that is until I became pregnant. Random guy in the office building never said more than “hello” to me before I got pregnant, but once I started showing, every morning I got a hearty “Why aren’t you in the hospital??? You are about ready to pop!! How much longer? Gonna be a BIG baby! Heheheheheh.” Which was sort of cute the first 15 times he said it, but lost its charm on numbers 16 through 45.
At Target a female cashier stared at me as she rang up our crib mattress. “Oh my Lord, are you just about ready to give birth right here??” she shrieked loudly. I smiled politely and told her I still had many weeks before I was due. “Must be twins then, right??” Again I smiled and said nope, just one baby. “That baby must be HUGE!” she yelled in disbelief.
I never understood the people who would run up to me and declare that I was “oh my God, SO HUGE!!” with delight. I never quite figured out the appropriate response to that. Just imagine in your head a female. One raised in this culture, with its impossible standards of beauty and body “perfection.” Now imagine how many females you know who love being told that they are “oh my God, SO HUGE!!” Now insert hormones, exhaustion, fear, and the genuine discomfort of being pregnant. Does this sound like an ideal comment?
After I gave birth, I became even more paranoid about people thinking I was still pregnant. I heard horror stories left and right of friends with new babies who were sweetly asked, “when are you due?” and upon which they would have to answer “six months ago.”
Now, I truly believe that the people who make these comments mean no harm. I don’t think they are trying to be rude, on the contrary, I believe they are trying to be friendly. But perhaps there are alternative ways to be friendly to women than to comment on the size and shape of her body, and/or speculate on the contents of her womb.
And yes, I have considered that I am being overly sensitive. This is entirely possible, and I will not fight anyone who claims I am being ridiculous. I would just like to gently suggest that not all women like having strangers or even friends/co-workers/family etc discuss their body with them, when such a discussion has not been initiated by the woman herself.
Maybe some women love being asked if they are pregnant when they are not. Maybe some women love being told they look like a whale when pregnant. I just have never, in the history of time, met one.