One of my favorite blog friends, Is There Cheese In It? writes these hilarious posts about things her kids have said recently. They make me laugh out loud every single time and have made me absolutely fall in love with her kids via internet. My mom is always telling me to write down the things my daughter says because I will think I will remember them but I won’t, so here we go with some of the gems we’ve heard from my daughter over the past 8 months.
Tucking Gia into bed this week:
G: You look like a scarecrow.
Me: What part?
G: Your face and your boobs.
Gia: “Harry the bunny has a better bed than I do. His sheets have pictures on them and mine only have stairs.” [Here is a picture of her horrible “stair” sheets (with a special shout out the The Book With No Pictures! – from my Instagram feed). Sorry for my poor taste, child.]
One night during bath time when I was still pregnant with Eli, Gia said:
“Mommy, talk about dat story how my brova in mommy tummy and his butt fall off.” #sorryboutyourbuttbrother
When Eli was born, Gia stayed with my parents while we were in the hospital. The morning after he was born, they brought her up to the hospital to meet her brother for the first time. She was excited/overwhelmed/confused/happy and whatever other emotion you can think of if you are an almost-3-year-old who just was introduced to the other human she will be spending the next at least 15 years of her life living with. As my parents were starting the lengthy process of leaving the room without her having a meltdown, Will decided it was a good time to change Eli’s diaper. He opened the diaper just as Gia was walking by and what she saw was incredibly disturbing to her.
Gia: What’s dat thing sticking out of his butt?!
[we all start laughing as she just gets more and more upset, repeating herself over and over louder and louder as my parents continued trying to escort her out the door.]
Gia: [heard echoing down the busy hall as my parents walked her out] BUT WHATS DAT THING STICKING OUT OF HIS BUTT?? WHAT IS DAT??
[Don’t worry, we explained it to her – see the next story].
Gia went the PBR (professional bull riding) this year and got an anatomically correct hot pink bull. She brought it home and we had this convo:
G: This bull has a penis like Eli and daddy.
Me: What do girl bulls have?
G: Mom. Girls are not bulls. They are cows.
One morning I got Gia up in the morning and we had the following exchange:
G: Mommy were you here while I was sleepin’ last night?
Me: Yep I was!
G: Who was dat baby that was here?
Me: Do you mean Elijah?
G: No, the other baby that was here that I saw last night with the girl with glasses.
G: She looked kinda like Jill [one of my friends]
Me: Nobody was here last night sweetheart. Just me and daddy.
G: Mommy? I don’t want you to go swimming with them ok?
Breastfeeding a newborn is always fun in front of a toddler. Things Gia has said while watching me feed Eli:
Gia: Look at that silly girl drinking milk out of mommy’s …. [long pause] ….. Boobs. [Yes, she called Eli a girl for the first two or three weeks of his life]
Gia: I don’t want to look at your boob, mom.
[Don’t worry – this is the end of the boob/butt convos … at least for this post]
After making her pancakes with powdered sugar topping:
Mom!! This is not enough sugar! This is ridicly-us!
One morning I was just about a week away from giving birth, and clearly OVER being huge and pregnant and exhausted. Gia however, ran literal circles around the house while whipping her arms over her head and screaming over and over “Lets get some energy going up in here!”
One day I told G I was hot and she leaned towards me and whispered “Gammy has hot flashes.” She also likes to randomly dramatically fan herself with her hands and announce “I’m having a little bit of a hot flash right now! Whew!”
Gia has a shirt that reads “Follow Your Heart.” My mom came over one morning and commented that she loved Gia’s shirt. Gia immediately begins running around the house, stopping at various places and yelling “Where is it?! Where is it?!” We asked what she was doing and she said “I’m following my heart!”
Out of nowhere:
Whiskey makes you frisky! [Yes. Preschool will go well.]
We were at my mom’s eating lunch when Gia spotted me eating an ice cream sandwich. We had the following conversation:
G: Mommy what is dat you are eating?
Me: An ice cream sandwich.
G: Can I have one?
Me: Not right now but when you finish your lunch I will let you have a bite of mine! [mentally preparing for screaming/tantruming]
G: That’s ok. When you leave Gam Gam will give me two.
Playing with her toy puppies, I asked Gia “Is that puppy a boy or girl?” Gia looks at the puppy’s face and says “I don’t know. I can’t see its eyes.” #DUHmom
While playing Legos we made Lego “sandwiches”. I asked G what kind of sandwich she was making. She immediately yelled: “Don’t say that!! Bakers get mad when you say that!!”
Gia has three imaginary friends; Libby, Lily, and Chrissy. Libby and Lily are the favorites and apparently they like to “mean girl” ice out Chrissy. When we get in the car to go anywhere Gia lets us know that Libby and Lily are sitting right next to her. We will ask where Chrissy is and Gia either says “In the back” AKA the TRUNK or that she’s “at the Lake.” #sorryChrissy #youcantsitwithus
I caught Gia giving Eli “choices” one day because he was crying. “I can’t read to you if you crying, baby. Do you want one books or zero books? One books or zero books?”
I also watched as she tried to get her Rody (inflatable mini pony) to “walk” with her, which was clearly not working. As she got more and more frustrated she suddenly stopped and crouched down to Rody and said “Rody, come here. We need to talk about this, ok?”
While on a drive, Toby Keith’s old song “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” came on the radio. I was confessing to Will that as much as I feel like I should hate that song – I just really love it. Super guilty pleasure. All of a sudden Gia screams:
G: Mommy I think I have something in my head!
Me: (panic, thinking she has some severe headache or a brain tumor or something) What is it? Does it hurt?
G: Its that I love this song!
I recently heard Gia pretend calling Gam Gam from her bed at naptime “Hi Gam Gam! What are you doing? I’m at work working at work what are you doing? I’m taking a nap but not taking a nap.” #nokidding
While watching Hotel Transylvania 2, I believe Mavis says something about Dennis belonging in California rather than Transylvania. Gia then turned to me and said “Mommy, you belong to California too!” Apparently my daughter feels I am out of place in our home state. #propertyofCA
We made Mongolian beef for dinner one night and Gia refused to eat it. She repeatedly asked Will to “lick the sauce off my beef” and cried when he told her that was gross. We told her she didn’t have to eat it if she didn’t want to, but then she couldn’t have treats later. She opted not to eat and later that night Will and I were sharing gummy bears. Gia wanted to share and when we reminded her that she chose not to eat her dinner she replied matter-of-a-factly: “Well then next time you can make a good dinner and I will eat it. And then get gummy bears.” #burn
Outside at my parents’ house a large jet flew by and Gia exclaimed: “Maybe that’s Donald Trump’s plane!” [he had just visited our town earlier that week. I promise we are not talking to our 3-year-old about politics. Particularly Trump #cringing]
One morning I picked out a button down flannel shirt and jeans for G to wear and she promptly began screaming “NO MOMMY!! I want to be a princess fashionista!” What do princess fashionistas wear? See below for what she picked that day:
After a hitting incident the night before, Gia and I had a conversation about hitting and how we can never ever hit anyone no matter how frustrated we are blah blah blah … Gia takes it all in and then looks at me and says:
“Yes, of course mommy. Of course. You are a genius.” [long, thoughtful pause] “I love you so much, mommy. Your the best girl I ever had. There are some books over there you can put away if you want to.”